Editors note: This was originally posted on my facebook on September 19th of 2012. Figured it was blog  material


I constantly get survey calls for everything to my cell phone. I moved from Utah, I noted that most surveys that I get, also come from Utah. My cell phone still has a Utah number and I have no intention on changing it. On the way home from work my cell rings and it’s a Utah number so I pick it up. A male voice on the other end says he’s from some company doing a survey for an organization that was supporting the Romney Campaign. He said that he wanted to know if I was a “Utah resident” and if I’d be willing to answer a few questions for him. I figured why not, and agreed. “I’d be happy to take your Survey” He never asked for clarification on the resident part.

He said thank you and then said that he wanted to know a few things about me first. I said that was fine.

His first question

Survey:“Are you Mormon?”


Survey:“Do you consider yourself Christian?”

I need to insert something here. Almost 10 years ago, while working in a call center in Utah I got the “Mormon question” almost weekly. Usually it got followed up with people trying to convert me to their faith, or a “why not” type of question I got really annoyed by it, so I came up with my own outrageous response that most people would not respond to, mostly out of shock, and because they don’t want to offend someone else religious belief. I’ve not used it in years, this was my opportunity.

Me:“No, I’m a Cross-Dressing Satanist.”

The voice on the phone stammered.

Survey:“I’m sorry, you’re a what?”

Me:“You heard me, I’m a Cross-Dressing Satanist.”

Survey:“I… I I don’t even have a way to mark that.”

Me:“You don’t even have an ‘Other box’? Wow, talk about religious discrimination. Just mark it as Atheist because that’s what it ultimately is”

Survey:“Oh, well, in that case, I can’t talk to you.”

Survey person hangs up

First of all, I must admit, it’s kind of douchebag thing for me to do. but for some reason, I take pleasure in being part of the margin of error in political surveys. exists, especially when they are that start with religious preference, especially when it’s a political campaign call. Secondarily, refusing to talk to me because I declared to be an atheist is bad, that’s discrimination. Anyone who says that we Atheist are discriminatory has no idea what most religious people are like. In the end, I kind of felt bad for the guy, I suspect that he didn’t want to do it, but it was a job and income. If nothing else I hope he gets a good laugh out of it eventually. at worst he was so narrowed minded that he thought he was going to lose his soul by speaking with me,