I constantly get survey calls for everything to my cell phone. I moved from Utah, I noted that most surveys that I get, also come from Utah. My cell phone Still has a Utah number, mostly because I’m too lazy to change it. On the way home from work my cell rings and it’s an Utah number so I pick it up. A male voice on the other end says he’s from some company doing a survey for organization that was supporting the Romney Campaign. He said that he wanted to know if I was a “Utah resident” and if I’d be willing to answer a few question for him. I figured why not, and agreed, even though I’m not a Utah Resident. But I never said that I was, a resident, I just said that I’d be happy to take his survey. He never asked for clarification on the resident part.

He said thank you and then said that he wanted to know a few things about me first. I said that was fine.

His first question

Survey:“Are you Mormon?”

Me:“No”

Survey:“Do you consider yourself Christian?”
I need to insert something here. Almost 10 years ago, while working in a call center in Utah I got the “Mormon question” almost weekly. Usually it got followed up with people trying to convert me to their faith, or a “why not” type of question I got really annoyed by it, so I came up with my own outrageous response that most people would not respond to, mostly out of shock, and because they don’t want to offend someone else religious belief. I’ve not used it in years, this was my opportunity.

Me:“No, I’m a Cross Dressing Satanist.”

The voice on the phone stammered.

Survey:“I’m sorry, you’re a what?”

Me:“You heard me, I’m a Cross Dressing Satanist.”

Survey:“I… I I don’t even have a way to mark that.” Said the voice

Me:“You don’t even have an ‘Other box’? Wow, talk about religious discrimination. Just mark it as Atheist because that’s what it ultimately is”

Survey:“Oh, well then that case, I can’t talk to you”
Survey person hangs up
First of all, I must admit, it’s kind of douche bag thing for me to do, but for some reason I take pleasure for being the reason for there being a margin of error in the kinds of surveys that start with religious preference. Secondarily, refusing to talk to me because I declared to be an atheist is bad, that’s discrimination of the worst sort. Anyone who says that Atheists are discriminatory have no idea what most religious zealots people are like. In the end I kind of felt bad for the guy, I suspect that he didn’t want to do it, but it was a job and income. If nothing else I hope he gets a good laugh out of it eventually.