To show you how frustrating and serious this really is, let me give you an example. A simple example of how hard it is for me to read.

Lets take this sentence.

“The Quick Brown Fox Jumped over the lazy Dog”

This is what happens when I read it – this Is how my eyes jump lines and how it gets to be frustrating

 TheaabsddssdBrownasdasdadfghfhhTheadaadskuh
 jflakjdQuickadadadasJumpedashdfadadsasdDog
 asdasdsaadasddasdFoxassvdadoverhfddLazyasdasd

It’s very difficult, it’s hard and it gets jumbled easily and quickly, now look at these thought processes, when thoughts start to merge. I like reading, it’s so frustrating that I don’t want to.

Personal Thought1             personal    thought
          Personal thought 2          personal 
                                  Thought 3  4

Notice how in separate lines they overlap. Like before I Can finish the First Personal issue thought, the second starts and the second one completes but the 3 one ends up on two different tracks with a 4th in-between where the ending of the 4 track ends up on the same tracks as 3.

It is very hard to keep things straight, Life, thoughts, stories and misconceptions occur VERY often. Many times People accuse me of Lying, and it’s not that I am. It’s that I can’t track what is going on 100% of the time. Hell I’m lucky if I Can track conversations after 20 minutes. When I’m at work I have to take EXTREMELY detailed notes so I can Track what is going on. This was one of the reasons why I ask people to repeat things I’ve been told over and over. it’s hard to track things, without them being written down. Lately I’ve learned to read the same thing about 10 times before I respond to make sure I am tracking something the correct way.

Have anyone ever seen the movie the Minority report?

There is a spot where Tom Cruise Hooks the cognative lady up to a machine and you can see her thoughts and premonitions. I want you to take notice of how blurry everything is and how it shifts very quickly and you only see parts of it at a time. it’s like slideshow, but they are consistent images the next one in the show just advances the previous one.

Now put that into a real life perspective but about different things. That is how my thoughts are constantly jumbled, but with every ‘slide’, it’s a different subject but there are still shadows of the previous one behind it. So it’s like a double/triple Expose on film, you see multiple shadows and “scenes” at once with no details.

That is what it is like to Live with ADHD.

No one with this Disorder wants to admit they can’t control it, because it’s near impossible to control 24/7 and in GOOD conditions I Can. even then it’s just for a short time period.

At any given time I have 30 windows open at work, because my attention shifts back and forth. it’s amazing I Get any work done some days.

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