So the only people that showed were Jacoy and Dave, Which was ok. We still had fun…

We went to the corn maze out in West Jordan; I really thought it was going to be stupid. About half way through the line I turned to Dave and said “Ok, the goal is to scare the living shit out of every little shit that crosses our path.”
And Dave’s Eyes lit up like a flood light.
“ooohh ok”
And we did, at first it was simple. Follow them around quietly not them pass us and just suddenly scream, and of course they would shriek. And we had a couple that will stick with me in my memory for a long time. As well as a few exchanges with parents who thought I Was being mean. My reply usually was “its Halloween you brought your kids to a corn field to get scared. Well they got scared you got your moneys worth. And I enjoyed doing it”

There were several paths just wide enough for one person to get through, with these paths that with the almost full moon everything had an eerier shadow; That with me in my trench coat and black clothes made me nearly disappear in the shadows. There were these little corners everywhere, these three young girls. OH! That was the other thing I noticed almost all of the people that between the ages of 8 and 16 were all girls. very very few boys. Anyway Dave screamed or rather ROARED at them and they all jumped, and I would emerge out of the corn and just walk towards them fast. well they just would stand there frozen, The last time we did this I got really in the face of this girl who was bending backwards to avoid me, and I yelled “BOO!” she fell on her butt and started to scurry away on her hands and knees. Jacoy who saw it from a different angle said it really was probably quite terrifying scary because of the way the light from the moon and the shadows and my clothes that you couldn’t see Arms, legs, or body just this Floating black Mass and this face suddenly appears.

The people that “worked” there knew we were scaring the shit out of people. The guy dressed up as death came after me with his STICK. and he stopped and I turned and stared at his…. Mask. and he screamed and I Returned with in my Stewart-gayman voice “Oh that was sexy can I kiss you now?” and he just got pissed “Oh you fucking Faggot!” and I just laughed my ass off.

The best one which is still on my mind at this very second and I will probably never forget.
We were getting ready to leave, the number of people that were there diminishing and we were starting to run out of victims. We were starting to walk out when we could hear this girly chatter.. Dave ran down to the end of one of these corn rows runs back to me and says to follow him close behind and he’d duck into the corn and I could pop out from behind.

Well the Clothes that Dave were wearing; light blues and browns made him literally disappear into the corn.
so I followed Dave right on his heels, I had crouched down a little to hide myself a little bit. Dave got close enough to the girl that she had already flinched thinking that she was going to run into him. He ducked into the corn and I came to a full standing position with my fingers like claws and roared at her. She ducked cowered and screamed her head off…. and then Flight or flight kicked in. she saw that I wasn’t some crazy man in a mask, and she cocked her arm back and I thought I was going to get smacked. But she stopped and in this high pitched whiny scared shitless voice she screams
“You’re not a scary man! You CAN’T do that to ME!!!”
As if she was this all important person. I started laughing my butt off. And she started screaming at me
“YOU ASSHOLE!
“FUCKER!”
“GO fuck yourself.”
By this time she had walked on Shaking like crazy I might add. I was laughing so hard I could barely stand up. She was with 4 other people. The two people behind her were laughing their ass off.
One of them stopped and said “Don’t mind her she’s high.”
I was of shocked “What is she on?”
She replied “LSD”
I just about died, “OMG she’s going to have nightmares for a week!”
Her reply before she walked off was “I hope so maybe she’ll never do it again”
And the chick left I heard the girl I scared shitless scream over the corn field
Her “GO FUCK YOURSELF”
Me: “ooooohh did the poor wittle girl get her feel bads hurt?”
Her: “Fuck you”
Me: “you wish”
Her “Kiss my ass!”
Me: “Then come here and Bare it!”
And she did come back, not to bare anything besides some more profanities.
She on about how mean it was for me to pick on some 8th graders. I made the comment that she was out past her curfew considering it was after 11:00 pm, and she needed to go home and let her mommy tuck her snuggly into her bed.
She of course screamed yet some more profane things and walked off.

I can still hear her voice in my head and it makes me laugh
“you’re not a scary man! You CAN’T do that to ME!!!”
And it was said so indigently AS if she thought that she had power over me, as if she was some political figure or my boss. It was so funny.

It reminds me of Cartman from South park “NO KITTY MY POT PIE!!”

We are defiantly doing this again.

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