Latest Entries »

We’re all a bunch of fakes.

Studies show that increased cell phone use and social media is that it breeds social isolation. Which causes depression, etc. We, humans, are a social species and we need to have that involvement with others. even introverts like you and I need to have a Human interaction to be functional.

Opinion:
Social media is causing a few problems. People talk over Chat, rather than in person. When was the last time you intentionally set up a lunch date or a meet up because you need someone to talk too? Probably not as frequently as we used too. That lack of Human, physical connection is a problem.

Also, most people only post “The good stuff” So we see that others have these “fantastic fabulous lives” where nothing bad happens, and we look are our own life and feel miserable.

People tend to not talk about the bad or hard things in our lives online because we are afraid that we will get criticized for it, or it gets ignored when we are really doing is seeking validation that we’re not actually bad people. It makes us feel very vulnerable, and that’s very scary to everyone. Some of us are afraid that if we talk about what’s going on our lives that we will lose friends, or be told that you’re stupid, or somehow lacking basic intelligence. Or that you’re intentionally seeking attention and sympathy – when the reality is you just need to talk about it, get it out of your head, find that validation that’s it’s okay to make a mistake.

So, we put up walls, only talk about happy things, and then we look at everyone else, who they too are doing the exact same thing! We cannot equate in our head that others are also struggling in different places. They advertised their lives as being perfect and wonderful because they never seem to have a problem, ever. The result is we end up de-valuing ourselves because our lives are not as perfect as everyone else’s appears on the surface. As a result, we beat ourselves up because we’re clearly a failure.

At least, that’s the lie we tell ourselves.

The truth is we’re all human. We have both good and bad things that happen to us and we should not criticize what is “Hard” for others because we lack perspective and reference for what they have already been through. In the same notion, realize that others are just as afraid as you are to talk about the hard things.

I’m slowly starting to realize that If you or I (or anyone) post(s) about something traumatic, and responders who feel attacked and go on the offensive are doing so because your trials illuminated their own deficiencies. I believe that they are displacing their own internal guilt on someone else, so they don’t have to deal with their own problems. it’s much easier to displace blame than taking ownership over your own actions. Some people are so deathly afraid of being wrong, that they will announce that they are always right as if they are somehow above being human.

Everyone is having a difficult time because let’s face it. Life is hard. there are so many trails and issues and we have to deal with on a weekly, even DAILY basis. We call it adulting now. Everyone has already been through a lot of things in their lives. Outside observers lack context.

Take whatever it is that’s plaguing you one day at a time. Grab it by the balls and say, “Bring it on bitch, I will destroy you.”

You got this shit.

I work in a downtown area. our city is plagued with issues regarding drug use. Meth specifically is the biggest local problem. The church behind my office has always attempted to do something. they are always doing some kind of community involvement.  Soup Kitchens, donations, fundraisers etc. Last year when Trump basically declared war on the Islamic faith there were a few mosques in the area that got bomb threats. This church (which is Methodist) opened its doors to those people to come to pray at their building so they had a safe place to worship.  They really seem to understand that the community is super important to a healthy city.

About 18 months ago, they took this to a new level. They started offering rehabilitation for people who are struggling with drug addiction.  The result for the rest of us has been mixed. on one hand, they are doing a good thing on the other hand, it’s brought a mixture of desperate and out of sorts of people. We’ve had car break-ins, peoples gas siphoned and a various number of other issues. Among those is yelling, sometimes they are yelling at others, but often, they are not yelling at anyone. usually, this lasts 30 seconds to a couple of minutes and it stops.

This started happening with increased frequency. We learned to ignore it.

One day I heard it start up about 10:00 am I brushed it off and kept working. until 20 minutes later I realized it was still going on. I left my desk and walked to my back door where I could see a man and a woman fighting they started throwing things at each other. I went to pull out my phone to record it because it was escalating, and as soon as I pulled my phone in my pocket that man cold clocked the woman. Sent her to the ground. I started recording and he walked off and she continued to throw things.

Now some people would get angry at me for not intervening at this point instead of recording it. the fact of that matter is I attempted once to help one of these people who had knocked their shopping cart over and she hit me with a stick. Last summer some random dude who I was going out of my way avoid because he looked high as a kite. Despite my going completely off the sidewalk and on to the grass. stepped in front of me and head-butted me.  I don’t like seeing people hurt, but I’m no longer going to go out of my way to help someone at the potential cost of my own physical safety.

At this point, the staff at the church showed up to help the woman. I called the police and spoke to someone. Because he’s a resident homeless and there’s no way to find this man, they sent me a form via email for the report. I filled it out and emailed them the video footage.

A couple of hours later I go outside and in the church parking lot, I see an ambulance, a rescue paramedic truck, and a police car. The guy from earlier had come back and knocked someone out cold.  I approached the closest officer told him what I saw earlier showed him the footage gave him the police report. They arrested him.

I re-enter the building when one member of the staff approaches me quite excited and says “Hey! you missed all of the fun!”

“You mean the police outside? I didn’t miss anything, I just talked to them?”

“No!” she said “The naked lady in the lobby!”

“huh…wwwwhhhhhaaaat?”

The story she told me… only seems to fit on a day where everything has gone nuts.  a woman walked in. went into the lady’s restroom stripped completely naked, and ran into the lobby, naked, and was screaming that the bathroom was trying to drown her.

I’m rather glad I missed that.

But it’s not over yet.

A few hours later. I again found myself outside waiting for a car repairment to come out While I was standing there. I saw two guys yelling and swinging their fists at each other, neither of them was the same man from earlier. they were missing each other by 6 inches to a foot. I cringed inside, it lasted another 20-40 seconds, then they screamed profanities at each other and walked away. I breathed deeply. I didn’t want to have yet another police involvement today.

I’m still not done.

The guy showed up, did the car thing. Left. I went inside to gather my things came back out to see a barefoot man wearing only his tighty-whities and a torn white beater screaming about how something is trying to eat him.

I went home and resolved to not go anywhere for the rest of the night.

Crazy people be lurking about.

 

In terms of personal growth and development. For the most part, I’ve told people to be true to themselves.

In some cases, people doing exactly this means that they show that their real self is an asshole. So for those people, this ends up being bad advice.

so can we just decide that the best advice is “Don’t be a selfish asshole”?

Which brings to my head, isn’t this kind of what the internet did? People could now be as mean and vile as they want with no actual repercussions.

It feels like the self-justification that Addicts use “My drug problem doesn’t hurt anyone, so it’s really not a problem.”

This evening I’m meeting some friends for dinner. As

I’m walking past three people sitting at an outdoor table I overhear the start as a conversation. as I approach, the lady who is facing me leans over the table and points at the one across from her, and begins in a voice that would indicate that she’s retelling a story….
” You and I were power rangers, and the swings teleported us to another dimension where we started fighting…”
About half way through her sentence I had walked past them and I came to a stop totally Interested in where this was going. It was at this point the one of the people who was listening to the story is staring at me and points. The story teller turns around and looks at me somewhat concerned
My brain, being the brain it is Responded with.
“#nocontext. but awesome! Sounds like a dream I had once.”
The story teller pointer a finger at me and said “hey buddy… This was real life!”
“Your child hood was way more exciting than mine!”

The Universe doesn’t care

The laws of the Universe do not differentiate between good and evil, that is determined by how it’s processed socially, and internally. It is our culture and our beliefs that determine what is right and wrong. For example, in some places in northern Africa, it is okay to hold down a 13-year-old girl and cut off their clitoris with a razor blade with no anesthesia. While this is culturally acceptable in these countries, in ‘modernized nations’ this practice would be considered barbaric. Meanwhile, in the United States, we take a blade to an infant male to circumcise them and that is considered a ‘normal and acceptable practice’. At this point, you must ask yourself, what is the difference? Both societies consider genital mutilation of children to be “normal practices”. It is our culture that determines right and wrong. Take Karmic Justice for example. This only really works because of our culture places laws, rules, and stipulations upon us that forces the creation of “Bad Karma.”

In short, we’re all self-justifying, self-validating creations who can make up a rule or a law to get other humans to do what we want them to do. The universe sees no “right” and “wrong” we create right and wrong. We are the creators and destroyers of lives and happiness.

In High school, I had a friend who would ask me every day “How’s life?” To which I responded, “Life sucks.” To which his daily response was “I keep telling ya, life is what you make of it.” This response irritated the crap out of me because it was too damn cheery and optimistic for how bleak I looked at life. It was more than a decade later before I figured out just how right he was. I always approached every day with a part of pessimist waiting for things to go bad, and it always did. I looked at it as ‘This is just my lot in life, it’s always going to suck’ reality of it, I was having the time of my life. I had friends, and a social life, and a decent job, and I was so stuck in my ‘life sucks mentality ’ I couldn’t see it for what it was.

So, if you’re sitting there thinking “Life sucks.”

Life is what you make of it, so get out there and do something with it before it’s gone.

She wants to see them BURN!

So, a few weeks ago my wife makes the tongue-in-cheek remark “We should have named the dog Ariel.” This annoyed me, but before I reacted because I am not entirely that she is fully aware of my dislike for almost all of the older Disney animations before they acquired Pixar (Pixar is a whole messed up thing on its own, but that’s another topic for another time.) I inquired, “Why is that?” “Because,” she says. “She wants to be where the people are.”

Since that moment whenever I see the dog follow the last person out of the room, or I wake up to her in my bed in the morning, I have that stupid song in my head. So, as I do when I’m annoyed with something that just won’t go away, I turn into Weird Al. This morning I found myself singing the following:

“I want to be where the people are

I want to watch them running, screaming.

I want to watch the world – What’s it called?

Burn”

“Where they drop nukes from the sun

I just want to be part of your

apocalyptic world!”

And then it occurred to me, what exactly is the social-political Hierarchy in the ocean? Triton himself is a terrible father. To begin with, his consulate is a crab and is basically Ariel’s caretaker. And where is aerials mother? I suppose mer-people could be completely asexual but I’m not even sure if any species of fish does this.

Are their rival factions of Mer-people? The fact that Ursula exists and is clearly outcasted, but she’s a very sentient being, she’s cable of magic and is obviously a threat to tritons throne. Why tho? People aren’t born evil they turn that way due to circumstance, it is safe to assume that the same holds turn for Ursula? She’s obviously a power-hungry megalomaniac and has a vendetta. Clearly, other mer-people know about her, as her cave is littered with what are barely living discarded husks of other mer-people that she keeps around as trophies. Did Triton go to war with the seas witches, all but completely eradicate with them? Complete sea witch genocide – save one? Is that why she’s so obsessed with getting his throne, maybe she’s trying to take back what was taken from her?

There appears to be no war or strife in the ocean, except for the enslavement of other animals to be used as musical instruments. Which is just Disney being weird. Aside from King Triton being Xenophobic and prone to violent, abusive, destructive outbursts referring to humans as “Barbarians, dangerous and fish eaters”. (What do mer-people eat? And so the fact that Ursula is seen popping prawns like bonbons is kind of awful.) Aerial being a hoarder and kleptomaniac and having body image issues with her obsession with becoming human.

Becoming human isn’t the real problem here, I mean, it is a problem. But only part of it. The problem is what this animation teaches. It teaches little girls, young impressionable minds, that who you are doesn’t matter, what does matter is how you look and how you use your body. When the contract is struck with Ariel, Ursula consoles her by giving up her voice, the only thing she needs is her “body language” if that’s not sending a clear message to aerial that she should be seducing him sexually I don’t know what does.

That just addresses the issues I have with the animation. The things that are shown to those observing this world. What occurred to me this morning is, what happens after? Aerial has a new body from the torso down, she has a whole new set of body parts that she previously didn’t have that now she must figure out how to use. A simple task such as using the restroom would be terrifying, I imagine that there are not fish lavatories. Never mind the implications given in the sequel after she’s married, and has a child. She has a whole new set of anatomy and functions that would be horrifying. Not to mention the PTSD that you’d get from it all. And now the Humans know about the mer-people. That’s a whole new problem for both species.

In the animation, we see an ocean at peace. Aside from a few animals that may, or may not be subjugated to being used as musical instruments. The fact that only type of flounder that flounder looks like is a European flounder, which means Eric’s kingdom is in Europe. The castle in the animation looks like the one in Denmark. So, if we assume that’s the whole thing takes place in the implied time period, with horse and buggy, carriages and the fact that people still live in castles seems to indicate that they are in the pre-1700’s era. And if the movie takes place in the late 1600’s to early 1700’s in the North Sea. It probably means it’s one of the major castles in Copenhagen. I only come to this conclusion because in the animation Eric’s ship strikes a rock, which means he wasn’t that far from land. Which means at best Ariel had about 5 good years before being exposed to the human war machine.

Well, this goes to show, that the grass isn’t greener on the other side.

This whole thing, all of it. Was to justify my morbid twisted version of a Disney song. Thanks for reading.

*gasp* the Thought just occurred to me. What if Ursula was King Tritons college fling, he hurt her and now she’s out for revenge.

This is Patrick.

Click for Full size

That’s okay, we can both be Batman.

We met just this once and had a laugh. While walking around Seattle We saw this wall mural of a jackass that was similar to the art of badass coffee company on state street in Salt Lake City.  We first saw it across the street en route to the space needle. Ruth pointed it out and asked if I wanted a picture of it. I said “Kind of, but not right now we will get it on the way back if we walk back this way.” as it turns out we did. Ruth recognized the business and as we get to the corner she points to the mural and says “Hey let’s get a picture of you with the jackass”.  An extremely short moment later a man with his hands outstretched with his mouth agape is standing precisely where Ruth is pointing.  

“Wow!” He says “We’ve never met and this is how you treat me?!”

Stunned silence comes across Myself Ruth and the kids. Ruth quickly corrects herself. “No, Not you, the wall painting.. thing. The donkey “. A Sly grin comes across his face as he pulls a drag off his cigarette.  “Sure sure I see how it is, just make fun of the yak-jawed local.” He walked to the sidewalk kind of laughing and I go to stand in front. Ruth mentioned that were traveling and we were doing the stupid tourist thing.  There was a brief exchange and I decided what the heck and told him to come up and take the picture with me. He kind of waved off at first and the relented and came up.  I shook his hand told him my name is Wayne   He said his name was Patrick, but my name is his middle name. “It’s okay. We can both be Batman “

That picture was taken after that last sentence.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Social media is like alcohol.

When Alcohol is consumed in small amounts and in moderation it’s ultimately not harmful. But consumed in large amounts it will destroy your life.

Social media feeds the egotistic, hurts the lonely, and breeds mass insecurity. The news is proclaimed, propagated and maintained by fear-mongers and guerrilla advertisers.

Money isn’t everything. Success is subjective. We all come from the same place, yet we judge and hurt others because we’re lost. And yet everyone puts on their happy face, because If someone talks about how hard of a time they are having in this part of their life; most people ignore it.

When you judge a person by the quality of their content you are validating their reasons to continue down a path where they will hurt themselves and others.

Addiction to both “substances” is real, every like is a hit a dopamine that makes us feel good about ourselves, every streak shows that we are superior and screams “I’m worthy!” – and then further used to validate and justify that next post. That if it doesn’t do as well we self-flagellate about how bad we are. How no one likes us, how we should have known better.

Ultimately both “Substances” Causes Depression, social isolation, and anxiety, and both have caused people to seek suicide.

Neither is a solution to a problem that is propagated as expected and normal and pressured on you externally.

The next time you find yourself sad, lonely and depressed put the phone down, walk away from your computer and find someone to interact with. As much as you may want to curl up on your bed and cry, that is the last thing you should do.

There are real people who care and love you. Don’t shove them away because you’re not getting validation from pixels on a screen.

 

so LIVE

I apologize for the random-like ramble-like nature. But I think it needs to be said, for my sake – if someone else gets something out of this, then I am happy for it.

Sometimes Life is unfair. Healing takes time. It’s important that you allow yourself to grieve. It’s good to be strong, but it’s better to allow yourself to hurt so you can feel better and come to peace with it.

I recently watched life slip away from a loved one, and my own mortality struck me extremely hard. Tell the ones you love, that you do. Because one day, you may not be able to anymore. Life is fragile and precious, don’t waste yourself away.

Pain sucks, it is real, but if we can’t, and don’t allow ourselves to feel pain we’ll never know what happiness is. Maybe that’s a distorted viewpoint, but it’s how I’ve come to terms with it.

I have a Tattoo on my arm to remind me to live, every once in a while, it does. Not because I’m suicidal, but because it’s easy to get stagnant and stop growing, stop learning, stop doing, and worst of all stop living.

So Live.

ANGUG ANGUS ANGUS!

For the first time in a few weeks I was able to get out for lunch and go for a walk. I’m enjoy the cool breeze and the sunshine  and the quiet.
when suddenly I hear this guy coming up behind me, and he’s talking, loudly to himself. I look up and made the foolish mistake of making eye contact, he takes this as some sort of open conversation invitation. He rides up next to me in the gutter and says…
“Do you know what’s better than 100% Angus?”
Taken aback by the perplexing and shocking question, of which I’m sure there’s a philosophical debate here about what constitutes as “Better”. However, the “correct” answer that this guy wanted so he’d be on his way and leave me in peace was totally lost on me.  I did the only reasonable thing I could do, I  shook my head and shrugged.
“200% Angus!”
It was at this moment,  that for whatever reason, my mouth ran off without me.
“No Sir!” I said
“You would be wrong! it would be 300% Angus!”
It was then, where I wondered if I had just opened the cage to a ravenous beast, as he gets this wildly excited look in his eye, like he just found someone who understands him
“MY GOD Damn! You are correct! That would be much better!”
And he rides off, pumping his fist in the air chanting “Angus, Angus, Angus…”
Somewhat relieved that this encounter was brief and not threatening of any kind, But then it happened. This is where I had to stop a second, and wonder
“What the fuck just happened?!”